Good Food, Good Conversation

The other night several colleagues and I met at an Indian colleague’s apartment for dinner. Our Indian friend works for a company based in Bangalore, India with which Rolls has established a working relationship. (For those of you who haven’t heard of Bangalore, it is the ‘silicon valley’ of India located in the southern part of the country.) He has been in the UK for 6 months working side by side with Rolls engineers, but will be going back home soon, replaced by another Indian colleague.

Anyhow, our host served a traditional Indian meal, very similar to what an Indian family would eat together in the evening. The foundation of the meal is rice. That is then topped with your choice of curry. Some curries are mild while others can be hotter than you can believe. While some of us enjoyed the spices, other had sweat dripping from their brow and water always in hand. (It was fun to watch some people squirm.)

While the food was good, the conversation was even better. Among other things, we discussed Bangalore and how quickly it is growing. Just like the American Industrial Revolution changed our country forever, they are experiencing a jobs, education, and standard-of-living revolution of sorts that will forever change India. It was clear as he spoke (which is hard to understand by the way) he was very proud to be a part of the changes that are happening back home.

We also discussed Indian culture and how it differed from that of the UK and the US. One interesting subject was that of the Indian family structure. Where the UK and US have much more individualistic cultures, India’s is much more family oriented. And this culture shapes their customs. For example, that is why arranged marriages are still the norm in India (I had assumed arranged marriage was an old custom rarely practiced in today’s ‘modern’ India, but in fact, it is still the norm). Our friend is 27. It’s assumed that not long after he returns home he will be getting married (to someone in the same caste of course). He and his wife will then be expected to start having children (ideally 2, one boy and one girl) in his early 30’s. All this planning and timing is not coincidence, but for a reason. This way as he (and his wife) gets up in years and is no longer able to work, his son will be there to support him (his daughter at this point has gone off with her husbands family). The divorce rate in India is very low because the family takes a greater interest in the success of the marriage (remember, the family was involved in setting up the marriage). If a woman was to get divorced or is widowed, great effort is made to see that she and her children are taken care of by someone else in the family. (For example, our friend’s father died when he was a boy. His uncle took care of him and his mom.) To rebel from all this family structure would dishonor both you and your family (much like in Japan). All this is to sustain the family (not individuals) from one generation to the next.

Perhaps I’ll have the opportunity to visit our Indian colleagues in India at some point during my time here.